'You don't have to settle'; one mum on why single parents need the best
"Once we have kids we lose the right to settle"
Kristina Kuzmic, also know as The Truth Bomb Mom, recently shared her story of dating as a single mother.
Speaking to Little Things, she shared how, as a divorcee with two small children, she struggled with insecurities when re-entering the dating world.
When she found herself beginning to have feelings for an other man, she was hesitant to fall completely in love. She said:
“I just thought, "I’m going to air all my trash to this person. I’m going to make sure he knows all my flaws and imperfections… and he’s going to run as fast as he can.""
Despite her doubts, Kuzmic's new boyfriend, Philip, was enthusiastic about the prospect of sharing a family. She introduced her new boyfriend to her children, but still was unsatisfied that he truly wanted to deal with her "luggage".
The moment that Kristina knew Philip was serious, however, was less than romantic.
“I was woken up in the middle of the night with my 3-year-old just screaming and projectile-vomiting. It's one of those single-mum moments where I actually think I'm going insane,” Kristina recalls. “And I think, ‘Why would any sane man sign up for this?’ So I pick up the phone, and I call Philip… wake him up. And I said, ‘You say you want this? Then come on over.’ He was at my apartment within 20 minutes.”
"I expected a look of shock and disgust. I was cleaning vomit off the floor and without messing a beat he comes over and takes the rug out of my hand and starts to clean up my daughters vomit. He cleans my daughter and tucks my kids into bed. When that was done, he tucks he into bed."
"He kisses me on the forehead and says, "Yes, I want this, all of it, all three of you."
Several years later, the pair are now married and have one more child together and Philip "loves the older two children as if they were his own"
Kuzmic has some important advice for any single parent taking the plunge back into the dating world. She says that everyone wants "something wonderful in our lives", even if we have trouble accepting that we deserve it:
"If you are a single parent I need you to know that you don't have to settle…. Someone will come along and give us that much needed attention. Even though I'm divorced, even though I have financial difficulties, even though I have stretch marks and cellulite and chin hairs. Even though I have children, as if our children are some kind of baggage."
"If you're using "even though" multiple times when trying to justify why you're dating someone then you're probably letting your insecurities win. Your insecurities should never be calling the shots."
She warns that even though it might be tempting to accept the first partner willing to "share the load" of parenthood, she says that it's imperative that single parents don't settle:
"Once we have kids we lose the right to settle. There are genuine people out there who will love you and love your children as their own."
"You deserve that. Even though."
We love this message, reminding us everyone deserves a happy ending.