Wife gets real on the subject of the 'perfect marriage' and shatters everything

What is the secret to a perfect marriage?

You look to your idols; your parents, grandparents, or simply your mates.

They've been together so long, they surely know how this thing works, they know how to make it last, happily. 

Nikki Pennington and her husband Jer have been together a pretty long time for a young couple. 

They began dating in their teens thirteen years ago and following eleven years of marriage, the couple are often asked what their secret is. 

But Nikki doesn't give the typical every day answer that most people will use, she won't tell you not to go to bed angry or to always tell your partner you love them before they leave. 

This wife is telling her truth, and you know what? It makes a LOT of sense. 

"Do you know how many times in eleven years Jer has taken residency on the couch prior to us having kids because we were mad? Do you know how many times he's left without us saying 'I love you' because kids and life?"

"His way of saying 'I love you' some mornings is letting me sleep in when he leaves and everyone is still asleep."

Nikki and Jer have basically broken all the rules – but they're still the happiest they have ever been. 

"The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all. It's a get up and try again over and over every damn day."

"It's hanging on tight when you are young, living on frozen dinners because it's all you can afford. It's staying up all night in tears with your first newborn because you're both over tired, overwhelmed and scared to death but you are in it together."

"It's about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, that your marriage won't be a highlight reel because that's not real life."

Nikki explains that marriage is more about being there for one another, being able to help one another overcome obstacles and challenges that life brings their way, or even just the simple comfort of knowing your best friend is on this journey with you. 

However, Nikki reveals one thing, something she doesn't consider a secret: "Just try every single day, in the trenches and on top of the mountains don't ever stop. Because stopping, that's one thing that isn't a secret, it will make you fail."