Family Life

Why one mum didn't leave the shower: 'It wasn't selfish, it was necessary'

Us mums are busy people – we get through a lot of chores during our day, while running around after our kiddies. 

Sometimes it's hard to salvage 'me' time, and when we do, we have this instinctive guilt that follows us around like a dark cloud hanging over our heads. 

Mum-of-five, Nicole Snyder, admits that exact feeling of guilt tends to follow her sometimes. 

But after drawing some inspiration from podcasts, she was reminded of how important it is for mums to have this time to themselves, to think, to grow. 

"If you're not at the top of your priorities, you're last – the older I've gotten (and more children we've had), I've found this my internal mantra that I've never actually said out loud."

Talking through the events of her day, Nicole describes the moment she eventually hopped into the shower, leaving her husband Jason with the four boys, and their newborn baby girl. 

"I went downstairs, drank my coffee and started my daily grind of parenting and keeping small people alive. But I also desperately needed a shower; physically and mentally."

While showering for physical reasons is obvious, the not so obvious piece of the puzzle, is taking those moments in the shower for your mental health too. 

The mum-of-five left Jason with the boys, put her newborn back to sleep, hopped into the glorious confined space for a long hot shower, and for a moment there was peace. 

"Jason popped in asking how long I was going to be and I didn't respond. I was taking this time for myself. I couldn't fill anyone else's cup and be the mom/wife they need unless I'm ok."

"It wasn't selfish to shave my legs and actually wash and repeat with my shampoo. It was necessary."

When Nicole eventually came out, her tot who was once sleeping, was now beginning to mooch around, but instead of cuddling her, she left her be, laying her out on the floor by her side.

Because Mum needed to brush her hair and dress, and once refreshed, she then snuggled her baby: "I felt human again. Recharged. And she was fine."

 

Let's talk 4th trimester and self care for a sec. Last night while in the car I was listening to @januaryharshe on her podcast. She said some things that resonated with me down to my soul, possibly because of the language. "Do no harm. Take no shit." and something along the lines of "If you're not at the top of your priorities, you're last." The older I've gotten (and more children we've had), I've found this my internal mantra that I've never actually said out loud. === This morning we had two boys up at 5am plus the baby. Jason is off for the day so he was helping. I went downstairs, drank my coffee and started my daily grind of parenting and keeping small people alive. But I also desperately needed a shower; physically and mentally. So I left the hubs with the boys, got the baby back to sleep and went to take a long shower. === Jason popped in asking how long I was going to be and I didn't respond. I was taking this time for myself. I couldn't fill anyone else's cup and be the mom/wife they need unless I'm ok. It wasn't selfish to shave my legs and actually wash and repeat with my shampoo. It was necessary. === I got out and the once sleeping babe was fussing. I could've scooped her up and forgone the rest of my out of the shower routine, but she was ok. So I laid her on the floor next to me. Did my R+F routine. Combed my hair. Got dressed. THEN I hugged and snuggled and kissed on her. === I felt human again. Recharged. And she was fine. So if you've made it to the end of this post, and any of what I've said hit home with you, fill your cup. If it's saying no to something, taking a shower or aimlessly walking around Target alone; do what you need to do to be the best you! Have a wonderful Friday! I'm off to camp with all my people, it's sure to be an adventure with a newborn!

A post shared by MyUnfilteredChaos  Nicole S. (@myunfilteredchaos) on

Nicole had taken on board her own mantra – knowing that she could only be the best mum she could be if she took a small amount of time to care for herself. 

Which is why she wanted to share her little experience: "If it's saying no to something, taking a shower or aimlessly walking around Target alone; do what you need to do to be the best you!"

Self-care is the best care mums, you are important too. 

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