'Tired as hell' mum has a message that ALL dads should listen to

To all the new fathers out there- you may think that you're doing great, but we can guarantee that you could do more.

Adjusting to life with a new baby is though, for both parents. But recently, mum-of-two and blogger Celeste Erlanch called out her husband for not helping enough.

Brutally honest, it should be prescribed reading for any daddy-to-be or new dad. 

"Dear Husband," she begins. "I. Need. More. Help." 

After caring for a baby and a toddler all day long, she handed over the crying baby to her husband in the name of self-care. 

"Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter." 

As any new mama knows, any bit of shut eye is some much needed relief. Yet her darling husband didn't seem to understand this. 

"You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

"I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

"Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?" 

As mum and dad roles go, Erlanch acknowledged that preconceptions have a massive part to play in the dividing of household chores and childcare. 

"I know we both watched our parents fulfil the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids." 

It's not just the generation that came before that engrained these gender roles, Erlanch wonders if their friends and fellow parents have the same struggles. 

"Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our mums suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help." 

And while her husband is an "amazing father", Erlanch is asking for more, better help. In the morning, getting the toddler ready for school  "so I can care for the baby and make everyone's lunches and drink a cup of coffee." 

In the evening, caring for a crying baby so that mum can get some precious sleep "if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you."

On the weekend, so that she can go out and "feel like an individual." 

But some help is not as tangible as unloading the dishwasher. 

"Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed." 

It may have been how our parents did it back in the day, but it's about time that mums realise that sometimes you need to ask for help. 

"I know it's not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mum. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human.

"I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family."

We feel ya mama, it's only right that dads or other family members help out struggling mums- even if it's just for a precious nap.