The 'theyby' movement: meet the parents raising their child without a gender
"Is it a boy or a girl?" is one of the first questions that nearly all expectant or new parents are asked.
Kyl and Brent Courtney-Myers, however, have a completely different answer whenever anyone asks that of their two-year-old child Zoomer. The couple from Utah are raising Zoomer as gender-neutral, using the pronouns they/them.
Advocates of the 'Gender Creative' parenting movement, they are committed to raising Zoomer with no assigned gender, until they're old enough to decide themselves.
"We didn't assign a gender to Zoomer," Kyl explained on their popular Instagram.
"We don’t disclose their sex to people who don’t need to know, and we use gender-neutral pronouns for Zoomer (they/them/their). We actively work to provide Zoomer with an environment that celebrates their individuality. We expose them to all kinds of toys, clothes, colours and activities and we encourage their interests and self-expression."
By not assigning Zoomer a gender, Kyl says that they hope to avoid "gendered micro-aggressions and stereotypes." Most children, however, tend to pick their own gender identity by the age of three or four.
The family recently received heightened attention after being interviewed for an article by New York Magazine. In an effort to educate other parents about the gender creative movement they set up a blog in order to answer questions about their lifestyle.
“Zoomer is going to have a gender,” Myers told the magazine. “They are going to let us know what their gender is, and it will probably happen when they’re 3 or 4. And we can all just get onboard, you know.”
The response they have elicited from parents has been astonishingly varied, with some questioning the long-term impact of gender creativity.
"How dare they make such choices for the child – it's not all about those two the child has a right to develop into who they are, not the limiting ideas of these two."
In response to the negative attention Kyl said; "we are very proud and confident about our decision to raise Zoomer this way and we felt a responsibility to be a resource for people who are interested in learning more about gender creative parenting."
However, many parents were curious and supportive.
"I am expecting my first child within the next month hopefully and I came here out of pure curiosity of how it works. Zoomer is clearly happy and whatever your doing is working for you. Don’t let the haters get you down"
"You two are amazing parents, little Zoomer is going to have such a great life!"
"Whatever floats your boat and doesn't harm your child then go for it. There are so many kids out there dealing with abuse and neglect. To see theses parents actually giving a s**t and being loving and caring makes me think haters should be focusing their energy on helping kids that don't have the same standard of living as young Zoomer. Good luck with bringing up your child guys I'm sure you're gonna do an outstanding job."
To learn more about gender creative creative parenting you can see the family's Instagram.