Teacher who adopted special needs student urges other parents to open their homes

Troya Fayock Yoder was working as a teaching assistant in an elementary school when she encountered David for the first time. 

"I met David at school when he was 13 years old and in the self-contained class at Thompson Sixth Grade Centre…I would spend part of my off period playing with his class at recess," she told Love What Matters.

One day, a teacher pulled her to the side to tell her that David, who has delayed speech and intellectual disabilities, was being put up for adoption. 

"Without thinking, I told her that we would adopt him. The words literally just came out of my mouth. But the more I thought about it, I knew that there was no way I was going to take a chance that he would find a good family. Why couldn't we be his family?"

For Yoder, the idea of adoption was perfect timing for her family. Her eldest daughter was already in college, her middle son was finishing high school and her youngest was just a year older than David. 

"I remember calling my husband and telling him there was some paperwork in the printer he needed to look at when he came home. And then I told him that I wanted to adopt a little boy from school. He asked me if I was sure. I said that I was, and he responded with, ‘Then what do I have to do to get the house ready?’ We brought it up with the kids that weekend and with no hesitation, they all agreed we should do it." 

The adoption process was long and difficult, but eventually, David moved in with the family. While they were sure about adopting David, others had doubts. 

"Right before he moved in full time, one of the lawyers called and asked me if I was sure about this. She said that everyone would understand if we changed our minds and that even after he moved in with us, it wouldn't be too late to change our minds.

"That did make me wonder a little if there was something I didn't know. I tried to put it out of my head and like everything else, decided we would deal with things if they came up and not worry about things that may or may not occur."

However, from the start, David fit right in. 

"The morning after the first night he spent with us, we heard him up around 4 a.m. I went out to check on him and he was sitting Indian-style on the couch with a tub of cold mashed potatoes and a spoon. I asked him if he wanted me to heat them up for him and he said, ‘Yes, please.’ We sat and watched cartoons while he ate his potatoes."

Slowly, David's social, verbal and physical skills began to improve. 

"I realised quickly he was so much brighter than anyone gave him credit for. When he came to us, he didn't really know how to take care of his physical needs." 

Wih time and patience, David became more and more able ot live independently. 

"He started setting his own alarm, waking up and making his own breakfast and taking his medicine. He likes schedule and routine and took to all this very easily."

Despite David learning to live better with his disabilities, they still didn't know what was the root cause of his developmental delays. 

"We still didn't know what was causing his delayed speech and developmental disability, so we took him for genetic testing. The results came back that he has a rare chromosome disorder known as 16p11.2 deletion syndrome."

Naming his disability, however, didn't change his growth. Only love could help with that. 

"His confidence has grown. He talks (nonstop) now. He can carry on a conversation, asking questions and responding to questions. His personality has really come out and he has this amazing sense of humour."

The Yoder family cannot remember what life was like without him. As for David, being adopted saved him from going into a home. 

"He brings so much light and joy to our family without even trying. We are better and stronger because of him.

"There was a time when his social worker thought he would probably be put in a home when he turned 18. That makes me so sad. He has so much to offer and so much potential.

"But we aren't looking back. Only forward. There are so many kids on adoption websites that just need a family to take a chance on them, to love them and accept them for who they are. If there is any chance you could be that person, I urge you to take the step. I guarantee your life will be so much richer and full of love.”