Second time mum is saying no to mummy guilt because it's the 'breast' decision
Adele Barbaro is mum to a two-month-old baby girl and a two-year-old boy.
But her experience on this motherhood journey could not be more different with each child.
When bringing her first-born into the world, Adele had a C-section, however, more recently with Chloe, she had a vaginal birth.
But they aren't the only differences the mum has encountered, with breastfeeding becoming another contrast.
This time around with little Chloe, the mum has found it increasingly hard to breastfeed as she has to constantly be there to meet her baby's needs, but she feels guilty.
Guilty that her son, Harvey, is missing out on time with his mum because she has other priorities now too.
"I have just found it to be so taxing and frustrating. It's so hard when you can't do the things that I need to be doing. […] I'm constantly saying no to my son."
"Chloe is a nosey little monkey who bobs around, […] I have to concentrate with everything I have got. Its making public feeding really hard and can be very isolating."
Mum admits that while she shares the good times and the bad online, she also ends up wondering what people will think of her if she chooses certain things for her family.
Afterall, she is still human, and it is something which has crossed many of our minds on occasion.
Not wanting to offend, or lose a connection due to differences in choice, Adele has also come to the conclusion that you have to do what is right for you and your family regardless.
"Every woman that has become a mother, regardless of how they fed their child will have felt this at some stage. And regardless of your decision, I hope you know you made the best decision for you."
"We all want the best for our kids and we are faced with so many choices we need to make. I emphasise the word 'choice'. It is YOURS as a parent. You should embrace it and never feel judged."
Nonetheless, the mum-of-two has still been quite hard on herself recently because of her breastfeeding struggles with her youngest, buying formula.
Adele left the formula in the cupboard, sitting for a 'harder' day, but her husband, Paul, explained something which brought her some calm.
Paul didn't want to see his wife putting so much pressure on herself if she didn't feel she was coping, explaining he would be completely supportive of her decision, whatever it may be.
"But I couldn't do it at the time. If I stopped, I would feel like a failure to her."
"A few days later, when I was home alone with Chloe, I gave her a bottle of it. And I sobbed. And felt guilt. Guilt for being selfish and for putting me first. Guilt for giving up."
Adele concluded that moving on from breastfeeding is difficult regardless of when you stop.
"Breastfeeding is f***ing hard and beautiful at the same time. I applaud the woman that made the choice not to breastfeed, the woman that was strong when she couldn't, the woman that gave it a go for as long as she could and the woman so passionate that she continues well after her child's first year."
"I applaud your choice."
While the mum-of-two will continue to breastfeed her daughter, she hasn't decided how long she will continue for, but she knows that it doesn't matter what her choice is as long as she continues to be strong.
"Not faced with this mummy guilt that society creates around what is 'best' for our kids," added Adele.
Adele is the perfect example of how guilt can make us do something we're not wholly comfortable with, but her strength to speak out needs to be commended.
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