Perinatal anxiety shouldn't be ignored as one mum reveals her experience
The Modern Mumma, Mel Watts, has shed some light on a condition which is sometimes overlooked.
While postnatal depression is a condition that has come to light in recent years with more mums sharing their stories, perinatal anxiety hasn't been discussed at length.
Perinatal anxiety can occur in mums who had pre-disposing factors which include previous anxiety disorders, previous birth trauma, miscarriage, high-risk pregnancy, and perfectionist tendencies, amongst others.
Mum-of-four Mel has openly shared her experience with the illness following the birth of her third baby, hoping to help other mums know they are not alone.
Explaining her symptoms and her diagnosis, the honest account of life after birth wasn't what one typically finds splashed through daily magazines.
"I was sitting there googling my symptoms with tears streaming down my face. My heart was racing, I was shaking and I felt scared."
"I had been feeling like this for months and every time I went to get help I was told it was IBS or a stomach infection. I was given medications upon medications. Nothing worked. I was still sick."
It all began after the birth of her daughter, who is now 18-months-old, as Mel started to become uneasy with leaving the house.
She convinced herself that it was easier to stay at home, making excuses to her kids.
"I avoided any form of socialisation. I wouldn’t go the gym, I wouldn’t go to friends houses, I wouldn’t even think about going out for the night or a party. I’d rather sit at home – it was easier."
"I started making connections with things I thought made me ill. Car trip = travel sickness, some foods = intolerances, feeling scared = me being paranoid," added Mel.
Trying to explain how she was feeling to anyone, even her husband, was a tough experience, the mum-of-four felt no one understood her, further feeding into her anxiety, fearing the worst.
"I remember thinking he thinks I’m insane, he must think I’m an absolute looney, I bet he regrets marrying me."
"I started hiding the feelings I was having. I would go into the bathroom and cry, I would sit on the toilet and sob whilst saying to him it must have been something I ate – I’m fine really."
And it was hard for Mel to comprehend her feelings, she was married to a man she loved and adored, she had three beautiful children who completed her, and she had created her own company through her writing.
She was a mum who had no business suffering with anxiety – but anxiety doesn't care for what you have or don't have; it doesn't have a criteria.
"I was in tears. I was lost. I felt so alone yet I had so many people in my life. […]. I started isolating myself from the world I had created, I began yelling and pulled myself away from my husband."
"I remember laying there thinking this has to stop now. I could see myself getting in a really dark hole and the only way I could get out alive is to work for it."
Going back to the doctor was the best decision Mel made, she had requested to be referred to a psychologist which led to her diagnosis with perinatal anxiety.
Perinatal anxiety can occur during pregnancy and up to one year after the birth of your baby, when mums become ill from constant worry.
Speaking about her time with her psychologist, Mel stated: "He said to me that he can’t fix me, anxiety is something you learn to live with and learn to control."
This is something which the mum wished she had known a year ago, instead of thinking she was 'losing it', at least now following the birth of her fourth child, Mel instantly sought help as soon as she encountered a moment, instantly feeling better with support.
"It’s okay not to be okay. However its not okay to give up on trying to be okay. […] You will get better, it will get better. You learn to manage it."
While some days are better than others, the mum-of-four knows not to beat herself up over the crap days, because they will happen, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Mel wants other mums to know: "Life is way too amazing to be scared and anxious!"
We're so glad that Mel has chosen to speak up on her diagnosis, and we also hope this helps many mums out there to realise you are never alone.
Have you ever encountered perinatal anxiety?