Parents everywhere will relate to this dad's very honest Instagram

Simon Hooper is a lucky man, spending his life surrounded by beautiful women- his wife and four precious daughters that is.

 

Well that was fun. @mother_of_daughters is away with the eldest 2 so I have the twins. Delilah was up & down last night more than a yoyo who'd necked a crate of redbull. As a dad, I usually have inbuilt noise cancelling and can sleep through an thrash metal gig but last night was something else. The neighbours must have thought I was skinning cats with a wooden spoon at 3.30am – the noise was endless – the kind of noise that cuts through you & drains you of any memory of who you are or what you're doing until your brain dribbles out you ear. They seem to have forgotten the whole experience and moved on. I'll just scoop up my eye bags so they don't drag on the floor. To top it all, the car is broken so I can't get to my brother's birthday. A shocker of a day so far. #brainonthefloor #alongwiththeeyebags #brokencar #twins #comehomeplease #parenting #fatherofdaughter #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 20, 2016 at 3:42am PST

Simon lives a hectic and hilarious life, and shares many of his brilliant experiences on Instagram, where he goes by the name of "father_of_daughters". 

 

I seem to forget to feed myself sometimes. I can get to 5pm and realise I've had nothing other than a cup of tea that's been microwaved 5 times and has a skin on it that's thicker than I feel after watching a documentary of dark matter. The twins, on the other hand, get 3 square meals a day spooned directly into their mouths. I tried crouching between them in the hope @mother_of_daughters would feed me too (FYI I don't have tiny arms) although I was rumbled by Delilah who kicked up a fuss. They have absolutely zero loyalty or compassion for me. Get between these girls & their food and you may just lose a finger. #noidonthavetinyarms #foodoverfathers #arewefeeders #theydontsharefood #nowonderimlosingweight #microwavetea #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 13, 2016 at 1:01pm PST

This proud father and his wife Clementine have a 9-year-old, 6-year-old and 10-month-old twins- keeping them very busy.

 

I seem to forget to feed myself sometimes. I can get to 5pm and realise I've had nothing other than a cup of tea that's been microwaved 5 times and has a skin on it that's thicker than I feel after watching a documentary of dark matter. The twins, on the other hand, get 3 square meals a day spooned directly into their mouths. I tried crouching between them in the hope @mother_of_daughters would feed me too (FYI I don't have tiny arms) although I was rumbled by Delilah who kicked up a fuss. They have absolutely zero loyalty or compassion for me. Get between these girls & their food and you may just lose a finger. #noidonthavetinyarms #foodoverfathers #arewefeeders #theydontsharefood #nowonderimlosingweight #microwavetea #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 13, 2016 at 1:01pm PST

Simon has become extremely popular on social media, and has managed to accumulate over 275,000 followers… for good reason. 

 

So after 2 hours of prep work (I'm quite the master of makeup these days), we went into the night to knock on random people's doors and essentially force them to hand over sweets. If you're wondering, Anya is Mary queen of Scots, Marnie is a cat, I'm the scariest thing of all – a father of 4 daughters on the edge of sanity after a stupidly early wake up this morning – ffrreeeaaakkkyy! After an hour of walking around, we turned for home with 1 kilo of sugar (some of which were obviously left over sweets from last year) that will no doubt keep the kids up for hours to come. oh the joy. Happy Halloween all. #wifeysavedthedaywiththecostumes #doesthisnotcountasrobbery #halloween #toomuchsugar #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 31, 2016 at 1:09pm PDT

Simon shares his honest parenting stories about sex education, bedtime routines and everything in between.

 

I'm still amazed at the way people look at me pushing the twins as if I'd had a second head grafted onto my shoulders. I know twins are a rarity but some of the looks are incredible and then of course you hear the whispering as they walk past "oh my God, did you see that? Poor guy". Poor guy nothing!!!! I'm proud of my twinbops. If you're interested come and talk to me, I won't bite. Just don't make an assumption about their sex. If one more person says "are they twins?" Or "oh what gorgeous little boys you have" I might just force feed you your own feet. #ofcoursetheirtwins #yestheyreidentical #cometalktome #noidonthaveasecondhead #iwontbite #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #twins #sisters

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Aug 12, 2016 at 12:55pm PDT

This hilarious dad spoke to The Huffington Post, where he explained that he is an operations director for a management company in London.

 

So apparently I'm now surplus to requirements which is fine by me. Gives me more time to drink tea, build stuff around the house which will get vetoed by @mother_of_daughters as it doesnt fit with the decor and generally kick back. I knew we had 4 for a reason, I just didn't know what that reason was until now. I could start a nannying business and hire them out – I could be sitting on a potential gold mine! Now is it legal or ethically correct to do this? We'll worry about that later. Show me the money! #sodthelotterymykidswillprovideforme #allthetrainingpaidoff #bribedwithsweets #sisters #twins #dadsdayoff #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parentingwin

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Sep 14, 2016 at 12:48pm PDT

However he also explained that as a father he is “a handy man, taxi driver, swimming instructor, tutor, chef, counsellor, human climbing frame, bank, personal shopper and PA.”

 

Someone call crime watch! I took this picture of a guy getting mugged in broad day light today. The 2 confidence tricksters are known in the local area and ply their trade by pretending to love their victims and then, when their guard is down, scratching their faces to pieces, pulling their hair and dribbling on them until they are given milk or rice cakes. The suspects are described as looking exactly the same, to the degree that their father cant tell them apart. They are around 2.5 ft tall, talk with a strange accent and are incredibly cute. Some previous victims had said they smell like a childrens play centre toilets but that has yet to be confirmed. #muggedbybabies #twins #parentinginjuries #thelmaandlouiseinthemaking #callcrimewatch #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 6, 2016 at 1:17pm PDT

Amen Simon! 

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