One mum's struggle: 'How do you explain to a seven-year-old the emotions and challenges of infertility?'

There are times in life we think we are failing as mothers, but then there's glimmers of hope as we realise we're doing quite alright. 

Those times come around the corner when we least expect them too, normally stemming from our children, who we think may have some sort of sixth sense. 

And this could not be more evident as it is in the case of Shelby Eckard and her seven-year-old son, Parker. 

The South Carolina mum-of-two has struggled with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and infertility, regularly updating mamas on her life with PCOS through her Instagram account. 

 

(••This is an excerpt from a long post I wrote how things always come full circle. Link to it in my story• and on my Facebook page) "You are worth more than those words they say about you. Words cannot define you. I know those locker-filled halls feel suffocating right now, but I promise there is so much more to life. It's more than what size you wear, whether you fit in with the 'cool' kids or not, or about how much people like you. Always remember, the only person who has to like you- IS YOU. But I bet you'll find beyond those walls that people like you. NO- love you. Why wouldn't they? Do you know how amazing you are? • Can you promise me a few things? Please. • -Do one thing a day that scares you. I mean it. Really scares the shit out of you. • -When the voices of those around you get too loud, trying to tell you who you are and who you should be, it's okay to get louder. Use your voice to say, " NO. This IS who I am." Some people won't like it- but they'll respect you for it. More importantly, you will respect YOURSELF. • -GO TO PROM. I MEAN THIS ONE. even if no one asks you, GO. Get dressed up. Dance. Laugh. Have fun. For you. Life is quickly going to start making you feel like you need someone to be complete. But you don't. Life is just like prom. You can sit at home, wishing you had someone take you where you want to go. You can settle, and chose the easy way out and do what people tell you you should do ( like go with that boy from Government class just because it gives you a date. ) Or you can decide that this prom ( or your life) is exactly what you make of it. So you better have fun. Shake your ass. Do things that make you feel happy. Sure, people might judge you, but they always will. You have to just go to the damn prom anyway. • -When you are sad, talk to someone. -When you are overwhelmed, ask for help. -When you are happy, give some away. • And no matter what, BE BRAVE. You won't always be ready. You won't always have the answers. You most certainly will not be able to control it. But you can always BE BRAVE. You won't always feel strong, and that's okay. But you are stronger than you will ever know, and if you ever forget, call me."

A post shared by PCOS Support girl (@pcos_support_girl) on Aug 9, 2017 at 9:58pm PDT

Shelby has continued to be a support to other mums, nonetheless, when a friend sent her a picture of her ultrasound, the mum-of-two was reduced to tears. 

Her seven-year-old son walked into the room and found his mum crying, his first instinct being to ask what is wrong with her because 'babies are awesome'.

Shelby wasn't expecting she would unveil the truth of tears, but she did, and done so in a way Parker's young mind would understand. 

Shelby explained: "Babies are awesome. They make hearts happy and homes feel full and are the greatest present a person can ever get. Having a child is like looking forward to a birthday."

 

A post shared by PCOS Support girl (@pcos_support_girl) on Aug 4, 2017 at 10:02am PDT

"You know the time for it is coming. And for some reason, for some, those 'baby days' don't come when they're supposed to. Or ever. And it's like waiting on a present and not knowing if you'll ever get it."

"And it can make you sad. If you were looking forward to your birthday, and it didn't come, you'd be sad, right? And you'd be really happy when you finally got your birthday present."

Shelby told Parker about how she had to wait a long time for his little sister to come along, but she eventually did, and she was worth the wait for everyone. 

"So mummy is happy when she sees her friends happy. And that's why she works hard to help those women feel happy each day," she added. 

But when she ventured into Parker's room later that day, she found him doing something incredible. 

 

A post shared by PCOS Support girl (@pcos_support_girl) on Jul 19, 2017 at 7:43am PDT

Something that made Shelby realise she was doing a good job as a mum, she's not failing her adoring children. 

"He was sitting on my floor, crayons everywhere, doodling and writing. I asked him, 'what are you doing, buggy? He said, 'I want those ladies to be happy, too. I want them to get their presents'."

"So I am drawing them pictures as presents. Maybe you can send them to them for me? When they're sad. I don't want them to give up. I want them to be happy," added Parker. 

What a beautiful little soul – Shelby should be a very proud mum.