Mum's soul is crushed when she hears the sound of a baby's heartbeat... but we understand why

Parenting is tough on a number of levels, but modern day parenting is beyond tough; it's mentally exhausting. 

While it's unfair to say that one generation has it tougher than another, we do believe modern day parenting brings challenges we find it hard to cope with. 

These days parents are faced with the perils of social media and mum-shaming which can make oneself feel ashamed, uneducated and extremely worried for our children's future.

Melissa Fenton, can relate to this feeling on another level, and it hit her hard when she went to visit her obstetrician-gynaecologist recently. 

On her way in the mum-of-four had noticed a couple who were clearly expecting a baby, but when they were placed in the room next door, Melissa didn't realise she would feel bad when she heard their baby's heartbeat 'thump, thump, thump'. 

While she could hear the couple's excitement, after a couple of seconds her wry smile faded and she instantly felt a pang of sorrow, the mum-of-four felt sorry for this mama-to-be. 

"In a split second my smile faded, replaced with a frown and thoughts of all the soul crushing things that modern mothering has in store for that first time mum in the room next to mine."

"That how raising a child these days, days full of sanctimonious social media and ever vigilant mum shaming of being under the scrutinising and suffocating microscope of anyone and everyone, is going to crush her spirit and her soul. Crush it."

The mum-of-four believes the feeling this mum-to-be has right now will slowly become a distant memory. 

"Had a labour full of complications or a c-section? Your body failed you, and your baby. Formula fed? Baby will have low I.Q. and be sick all the time. Breastfed for only six weeks? Quitter."

"Nursed into toddlerhood? Freak. Back to work? Neglectful. Staying home? No ambition. Boxed mac and cheese? Poison giver. Homemade mac and cheese? Obnoxious overachiever."

Pointing out how no task a mum completes these days, no matter how big or small, is ever the right one, Melissa highlights how we as mums chastise ourselves on a daily basis because of our 'misgivings' and 'shortcomings' which are brought to the fore online.

But Melissa doesn't want this mama-to-be's soul crushed, or any other mum's either, she has a very special message to share with all the wonderful mums of this world:

"First time mum in the next room, mum who just had a baby, mum who has a house full of diaper clad toddlers, […], and the mum who is getting ready to embrace the final years of high school or send a kid off to college, please remember one thing for me…"

"Remember that sound of your baby’s heartbeat? Then remember it’s YOUR baby’s heartbeat, not society’s baby, or social media’s baby, or some parenting study’s baby. Remember it's YOUR baby, toddler, child, young adult, and college student."

"Don’t let the motherhood soul suckers of the world take away one second of your joy of mothering. Not one single second. You are the mum. Period."

"You made that damn heartbeat (or had the privilege of adopting it), so you get to raise it, the way YOU want to raise it. Nobody else."

And this; this is why we're in love with Melissa. Some of the BEST parenting advice we've heard in a long, long, time.

We're taking this on board: "It’s time to get your mothering joy back, deep in your souls. Start now."