Mum's 'no bulls**t' advice to help you survive motherhood is beyond glorious
We've done it all, tried every method, and to be honest, we'd try them all again if we thought it'd make parenting easier.
When it comes to our kids there is nothing we won't do to make sure they are getting what they need, or to simply make sure they sleep through the night.
Laura Mazza has been tired of completing tasks which others have told her works, so instead of questioning her own parenting skills, the mum-of-two has come up with 20 'no bulls**t' pieces of advice she has learned through family life.
She begins: "Babies cry, they poo, explode and they vomit. That's all. They don't really sleep, they don't care that mummy has been up all night and it's time to go nigh nigh and shut their eyes. They don't give a shit. Sleep? That is a downright lie."
"You can buy the recommended toys […] that guarantees your baby will go to college, but let me tell you something, don't bother. All they'll want to play with is the remote, your phone and the contents in the bin."
The tid bits, are things which Laura wishes she had known before becoming a mother, the things she had hoped someone would tell her about instead of sweeping them under the carpet.
Speaking openly and frankly, the mum-of-two is straight up on her experience of motherhood so far with her son and daughter.
"Babies will shit right after you've changed them, and usually in the middle of the night. Sometimes the poo will shoot out like a rocket… be prepared always."
"You will be judged. For whatever. Your baby's shoes to your babies food, you will be judged. Formula vs breastfeeding? Who cares, that kid will eat dog food at some point so don't even fret."
And when it comes to your baby's sleeping pattern, Laura reckons it's best not to complain, because someone will tell you it's your fault, you've spoiled them, however, according to Mum it's perfectly OK to despise other mums who's babies do sleep.
Moreover, Laura parts wisdom on a very important fact, one most mums should remember before piling pressure on themselves – babies do cry: "That's just what they do."
"If you've done everything you need to, take a couple of minutes, swig some wine and come back and try something new and repeat. I'm kidding, don't do that, you'll die."
Thankfully the mum-of-two parts with the BEST parenting tip we have heard yet: "When it hits 5pm tell your partner you need to go the toilet and hand him the baby and don't return till 11pm when hopefully the dust has settled."
We can't argue with Laura's wisdom, from sleeping to poo, it's all quite true! But while Laura may have joked about wine… we're not, it's been a long day.