Mum's account of postpartum depression shows how the signs can differ
Postpartum depression affects many women worldwide, but unfortunately there's only a small number who will actively seek help.
Nonetheless, more and more mums have decided to speak out on the topic in a bid to normalise the condition and we were fortunate enough to come across Tova Leigh.
The mum-of-three suffered with PPD following the arrival of her firstborn, but what she shares with us is in stark contrast to what we have come to imagine PPD to be.
Mum began writing: "I was that mum who sat next to her baby's cot for hours while she slept just to make sure they were still breathing."
Admitting that her husband, Mike, used to beg her to go to sleep, the mum also remembers how she pretended to be asleep during those hours, usually having weird dreams about losing her daughter, or forgetting something important.
"Eventually, she would wake for a feed and I would feel relieved that I don't have to fake sleep anymore, I could go back to watching over her, because of course in my mind no one apart from me was able to do it properly."
While her baby girl drifted off to sleep, Tova would continue to stay awake, watching over her bundle of joy, but not all was what it seemed: "I remember sitting there, shattered and broken and utterly exhausted but I just couldn't let go."
"The fear that something might happen to her, and the overwhelming love I felt made me completely crazy and although I knew I was being ridiculous – I just couldn't help myself."
Slowly, the first-time mum was beginning to feel as if she was losing her mind: "Everything was foggy and unreal. I felt alone and desperate and I didn't know what was wrong with me. But mainly, I didn't realise I needed help."
Many people would mistake Tova's condition for a first-time over protective mum, but it was so much more than that, and it's important for her to educate others on her experience.
"I want you to know the signs. I want you to know that for each woman, they may look different. I want you to look out for them, and look after the new mummas, because they may need your help more than you think."
The significant post has made us think twice, and we hope to always look out for our fellow mums, if you feel you need help, reach out, you are never alone.
"There is no shame in asking for help," concludes the now mum-of-three.