Mum and doctor, Jessica Zucker, has been helping women overcome infant and pregnancy loss for many years.
However, it wasn't until she experienced the same fate that she truly understood the silence and stigma surrounding her grief.
Both/And _ "I wanted this baby so badly, how can I feel this ____________ (overwhelmed, disconnected, anxious, depressed, regretful, guilty, self-loathing)?!" Fill in the blank. _ I hear variations on this theme daily in my work. Motherhood after pregnancy or infant loss can be confounding. A flood of feelings plus a tinge of "how can I feel such a mash up of emotions now that I finally got here: motherhood?" _ Both/and not either/or. _ Love – this love – can be a wild ride, particularly during the nascent transition to it. Maternal love post-loss. Be gentle with yourself and know that complex feelings are actually the norm. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #motherhood #pregnancyafterloss #grief #loss #rainbowbaby #1in4 // Photo found via @nymphnyc.
A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Apr 19, 2017 at 7:48am PDT
Jessica decided it was time to speak out, telling her traumatic story through essay writing with the hashtag 'IHadAMiscarriage'.
This in turn led the mum to create an Instagram account in 2015 documenting other mums' heartbreaking stories from all over the world.
I'm heading to Japan next weekend to explore the traditions and rituals surrounding pregnancy loss. To visit places created to specifically acknowledge the mourning process: Jizo statues, temples, cemeteries. _ But just yesterday while sitting with patient after patient, it dawned on me that even though our culture doesn't have standardized ways of memorializing loss, my office (and countless offices around the world) has become a sanctuary of sorts. The amount of love expressed within those 4 walls could deem the space holy almost. _ My work is an honor – witnessing and processing the pain that accompanies these journeys – the hope, the anxiety, the poignant vulnerability. Sitting with the intensity of wanting but ultimately not knowing. _ Although we exchange words during therapy sessions, there is an abounding sense of grounding meditation. Ritual in the making. Simultaneous to words, gentle breath. Lost babies spoken about and felt deep within our bones. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #stillbirth #pregnancyloss #grief #loss #motherhood #pregnancyafterloss #1in4
A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Apr 22, 2017 at 7:41am PDT
The beautiful account not alone shares mums' journeys with us, it also depicts the unique ways which mums remember their babies who are no longer with them.
Their poignant stories are a reminder that you are never alone, and there is always someone you can turn to.
Such a beautiful way of being there for one another, and keeping your little miracle's memory with you.
Would you like to see a support group near you? Or if you'd like to share your story you can do so
I'm heading to Japan next weekend to explore the traditions and rituals surrounding pregnancy loss. To visit places created to specifically acknowledge the mourning process: Jizo statues, temples, cemeteries. _ But just yesterday while sitting with patient after patient, it dawned on me that even though our culture doesn't have standardized ways of memorializing loss, my office (and countless offices around the world) has become a sanctuary of sorts. The amount of love expressed within those 4 walls could deem the space holy almost. _ My work is an honor – witnessing and processing the pain that accompanies these journeys – the hope, the anxiety, the poignant vulnerability. Sitting with the intensity of wanting but ultimately not knowing. _ Although we exchange words during therapy sessions, there is an abounding sense of grounding meditation. Ritual in the making. Simultaneous to words, gentle breath. Lost babies spoken about and felt deep within our bones. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #stillbirth #pregnancyloss #grief #loss #motherhood #pregnancyafterloss #1in4
A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on Apr 22, 2017 at 7:41am PDT
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