'Losing a child fundamentally changes who you are': A dad's perspective on coping with grief

Dad-of-three, Greg Hughes, tragically lost his one-month-old son, Riley, to whooping cough two years ago. 

However, in a bid to help others cope with the grief which takes over, Greg has began writing about the difficulties he has faced.

On Dad Minus One, Greg shares his deepest thoughts about the loss of Riley, and how it has changed him as a person.

Greg is fully aware how talking about your change of persona is pretty much non-existent, as many men are expected to continue on the path of the status-quo after loss. 

Greg writes: "That is unhealthy and it's wrong. You've experienced enormity of loss and you've gotta acknowledge that b*****d head on."

While engaging in a 'one man pity party', Greg took a moment to consider all the things that have changed within him since Riley's passing.

The dad-of-three describes his developments as 'niggling traits': "I'm less social – some days the thought of leaving the confines of my own house terrifies me."

"I'm moody – I can be completely happy to the point of being giddy when suddenly bang! Switch flicked and I'm the black cloud in the room."

"All these things change who I am as a person and they probably make me more difficult to be around – but they don't mean I'm not still the same person I was before. I just bring a little bit more awkward to the table than before I lost a child."

However, while these traits Dad has taken on are 'niggling', he has one piece of advice for people who are coping with grief.

"You don't have to try and be the person you were before."

Greg believes you should remember and acknowledge in equal measure why you have changed.

"Cherish the positive experiences you had before the loss and focus on what you still have. Sometimes you get so caught up in what you've lost that you overlook what you still have."

Moreover, the dad wants you to communicate with others, tell them how you're feeling, it doesn't matter if it's a friend, an online forum, or a support group, just as long as you're talking about your feelings.

"Never suppress these feelings because if you do they'll swallow you whole. To all the mums and dads who've experienced the loss of a child – you can and will make it."

"You're still you and you're still awesome."

This dad's words are amazing, showing immense courage to speak up.