Family Life

'Keep them apart': Mum confused over whether to let her young sons fight or to step in and stop it

Having young kids close in age is always going to be filled with it's ups and downs.

Fighting is one of those downs – except what about when it turns physical?

One mum took to Mumsnet to discuss this exact problem problem with her young sons, and to ask what on earth to do about it? 

In the thread, the concerned mum explained that her "five-year-old and 2.5-year-old are ALWAYS fighting."

She goes on to express how the younger boy "often just goes up" to his "quiet, calm" older brother and starts "pulling his hair" or "jumping on top of him" in a attempt to start a "play fight".

The thing is, her "five-year-old DS [darling son] hates it" and the mum doesn't know hwo to handle her younger son's outbursts. 

She describes how she has two choices: either let them fight when she's not around to break them up or to tell her older child to defend himself.

In doing that, she is encouraging them to fight though and here's lies the issue. 

The mum doesn't want him "to get picked on in life" but also doesn't want to raise two "scrappy boys".

Mum's have been flooding the comments section with people expressing concern for the elder sibling.

One wrote, ''your 5-year-old shouldn't have to toughen up, you should be dealing with your 2-year-old who shouldn't be attacking his brother."

Others questioned how she is disciplining the younger boy.

"Stop allowing him to abuse his sibling and do not encourage his sibling to abuse him back. What are you doing?" one angry mum wrote.  

There was a more balanced viewpoint offered by one mother who dubbed the criticism ''harsh and impractical.''

She added, "I have told my daughter that she's allowed to hold or catch [her aggressive younger brother's] hands if he's trying to hurt her. Her defensive actions are not at all violent."

What advice would you give to this frazzled mum? 

Search
Search results for
View all