'Infertility is not a choice': meet the mums fighting to make fertility treatment equal

This week on our Mums Who Inspire series, we chat with Fiona McPhillips who, along with Johanna Donnelly, started Pomegranate, a charity for couples affected by infertility. If you have a story that you would like to be featured, email mumswhoinspire[at]magicmum[dot]com.

“Ultimately, we hope to go out of business.”

It’s not often you hear the wish to come from a charity, or any business for that matter. But Pomegranate, founded by Fiona McPhillips and Joanna Donnelly hopes to do just that.

Fiona, a freelance journalist and researcher, and Joanna, meteorologist with RTÉ, created Pomegranate to support couples through expensive fertility treatments. Having both been through fertility treatments themselves, they believe that every couple should be given the chance to try for a baby.

“Our stories are nearly identical,” says Fiona, talking to MagicMum. “We both had no trouble conceiving with our first babies so we were both trying for second babies when we met.”

With such similar journeys the two women became friends through the MagicMum forum.

“We were both trying and failing IVF for about two or three years. We had several miscarriages between us.”

After years of supporting each other, IVF worked for Johanna first, giving birth to a boy. About a year and half later, Fiona had a girl.

While trying for a second baby, Fiona realised how little information existed for Irish women with fertility issues.

“When I was going through the process here was nothing out there. I learned everything I needed from talking to other mums and on MagicMum forums. It was on a need-to-know basis, like ‘I've tried this, what do I do next’.”  

Fiona decided to take the plunge and begin writing a guidebook for couples affected by infertility.

“When I started writing I told myself that I would either have a book deal or a baby by Christmas. I got the book deal and the baby came along about a year and a half later.”

The ability to work from home is something that Fiona is grateful for.

“I threw myself into the book, because the more you work at it the more you get out of it, which is exactly the opposite to IVF.

“When you’re struggling with fertility, it’s very hard to put on a brave face for a 9-5 job.”

She has just released a second book, Make the Home you Love, a guidebook to Irish home design, renovation and extensions. 

Both Fiona and Johanna would go on to have third children within the same year as each other; Johanna naturally and Fiona with the help of a fertility drug.

“Johanna joked that she got ‘the last one for free’,” Fiona recalled. “She was the one who came up with the idea of sponsoring another couple’s infertility treatment. I had just started running so I offered to give any sponsorship I got towards that.”

The process of setting up a charity took nearly a year, but once they did the response was unprecedented.

“We had such a great response, as many donations as we get there are always more and more candidates looking for help.”

Currently in Ireland, fertility treatment is not offered in public health services. For many couples diagnosed with infertility, a diagnosis is the end of the road. Pomegranate hopes to change that.

“Infertility is not a choice. Every couple deserves a chance to try for a baby.”

Since Pomegranate’s founding, they have sponsored thirty couples and have seen the birth of eleven babies.

Despite this success and proof of the necessity of fertility treatments, Fiona still acknowledged that there are still stigmas associated with infertility.

“It has gotten a lot better in the past ten years. People are definitely more understanding now than they were when we first started out in 2005.

“People are still reluctant to talk about it. We still think that it’s a woman’s problem when in fact the statistics show that it’s 50/50. It’s one of the rare things that the more you know about it, the less success you’ve had.

“You still get the awful comments like ‘my fella just looks at me and I’m pregnant’. They’re not meant to be malicious but it cuts you like a knife. But I do believe the stigmas are generally improving.”

Culturally, Fiona says that the perception of IVF and other treatments is “the 40-something career woman who left it too late to have kids and is using IVF as a backup.”

This is something that many celebrities emulate.

“I think Hollywood celebrities and actress in their 40s having twins only promotes that stereotype.

If there’s a woman in her 40s going through IVF, the chances are that she’s been trying for many years.”

A major part of this misunderstanding about infertility is due to lack of education.

“For 80% of people getting pregnant is something that happens naturally without any effort. It’s surprising how little people know, even about their own menstrual cycle.

“Infertility affects anyone at any age, we have sponsored couples right across the board. There are more people coming to us who are in their 20s and early 30s than older couples. They come to us as a last resort.”

The Minister for Health, Simon Harris, has recently made a commitment to bring in legislation allowing fertility treatments to be covered by public healthcare. This is a step that the charity eagerly awaits.

“Infertility is a medical condition. Any civilised medical health service should recognise and support that.

“Infertility is not a choice. Healthcare should never be a political decision. You don’t get a say in whether Mary up the road gets her ingrown toenail removed or John gets a hip replacement." 

As for the future, Fiona hopes that passing of fertility treatment legislation will allow for Pomegranate to come to a natural end as access to fertility treatment becomes a reality for all, no matter what background or situation. 

“We will be sponsoring at least one more couple before the end of the year. But ultimately, we hope to go out of business.”

To find out more about Pomegranate see here or on their Facebook.