'I’m thankful for new beginnings'; one mum on the importance of embracing change

Allison Kimmey, author and mum-of-two, recently took to Instagram to share the importance of accepting change. 

Kimmey, a "trusted expert in self love, body acceptance and body positive parenting", recently shared a post detailing her "year of doing things out of the ordinary." 

 

We held hands around the table as we each said what we were thankful for: “I’m thankful for new beginnings,” I said as I felt myself getting a little teary eyed. When this year began, we set out to make it an uncommon time in our lives. A year of doing things out of the ordinary, and leaving comfort zones behind us. Pushing ourselves further than we thought possible. We had plans, but also a commitment to surrendering to whatever life had in store for us. Neither of us could have imagined the extreme highs and devastating lows these last 11 months carried with them. It’s so easy to be positive when life is going right, but the real test is when life throws you curve balls. Can you find the silver lining? Can you be vulnerable? Can you feel through the emotions? And then can you find the light even when you are in the middle of the darkness? Can you ask for help? Can you accept the help? Can you rise above those who don’t see your worth? Can you still be kind in the face of adversity? Can you be love? This year has tested me in every area. I’ve learned that my limits aren’t actually limits at all. I’ve learned to let go of what doesn’t feel good anymore. And most of all, I’ve learned that every single moment is meant to be felt and lived and loved. Because it makes us who we are, and each time we lean into the hard things, we are met with new beginnings and a chance to write a new chapter in our stories. Drop me a  if you’re writing a new chapter. Just do you babes Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE  Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Nov 25, 2017 at 9:17am PST

She wrote how Thanksgiving made her think back over her year and assess that changes that had happened:

"It’s so easy to be positive when life is going right, but the real test is when life throws you curve balls. Can you find the silver lining? Can you be vulnerable? Can you ask for help? Can you accept the help? Can you rise above those who don’t see your worth? Can you still be kind in the face of adversity? Can you be love?" 

She said that this year had "tested" her: 

"I’ve learned that my limits aren’t actually limits at all. I’ve learned to let go of what doesn't feel good anymore. And most of all, I’ve learned that every single moment is meant to be felt and lived and loved. Because it makes us who we are, and each time we lean into the hard things, we are met with new beginnings and a chance to write a new chapter in our stories." 

Kimmey is also a body positivity advocate, who consistently celebrates her size and embraces changes in her body rather than fighting them.

 

“You are a dangerous mother.” Dangerous? Because I have more fat than I did a couple years ago? Dangerous because your fatphobic view of me tells you that because I have more fat that I am lazy, complacent, eat fast food every day, unintelligent, unattractive and a poor influence? 3 years ago no one told me I was dangerous. Yet, I drank every night. I smoked every night. I was obsessed with weighing myself and berating myself in front of my young children. A toxic home life, depression and neglect. But, I wasn’t dangerous because I was an acceptable size. “Okay, be fat if you want, but don’t make your poor daughter be fat with you. She has no choice.” Isn’t it funny, how we can determines someones health by looking at them? Oh yah, that’s right…we can’t. When will we redefine health and wellbeing by more than just BMI? Yes, fruits and veggies are important, but what about if she’s hydrated, or gets enough sleep, or is learning how to read, or gets along well with others, or has a stable home life, or how much time she spends on devices, or or isn’t learning about eating disorders by watching her mom obsess about food, or picking up poor body image from the countless marketing campaigns she sees daily. Because you’re right. She doesn’t have a choice that everyone around her subscribes to the idea that thin = worthy. You want to know what’s dangerous? Believing that because you are not perfect that you could literally be a danger to your children. A loving mother, a mother that has embraced herself unconditionally, a mother that is doing the best she possibly can, will never…I repeat NEVER…be a danger to their child. To anyone out there trying to raise good humans, especially the #dangerousmoms : just keep doing you. Show them that there is more to life than the way you look, and be the first example that nothing can hold you back, especially not another persons opinion of you. Just do you babes! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Nov 20, 2017 at 8:33am PST

 She compared pictures of herself from three years ago with today, in order to show that being thin isn't always synonymous with being healthy or happy: 

"Three years ago no one told me I was dangerous. Yet, I drank every night. I smoked every night. I was obsessed with weighing myself and berating myself in front of my young children. A toxic home life, depression and neglect. But, I wasn't dangerous because I was an acceptable size."

But she says now that size shouldn't be factor in raising children, but rather self-love should be: 

"A loving mother, a mother that has embraced herself unconditionally, a mother that is doing the best she possibly can, will never…I repeat NEVER…be a danger to their child." 

 

My body is a little softer these days. A sign of the things I’ve been through the last couple months and a shift in where my time has been spent. Hurricanes, relocating, football season, and through it all keeping my family afloat with unwavering positivity and love. And that is okay. That is called life. There is no constant, and it’s impossible to expect our bodies to stay the same all of the time. It would be easy for old me to justify why I should crash diet before the holidays so that I could earn an indulgence here and there. But being softer doesn’t take my joy out of the holidays. I no longer do a mental tally of the calories on my plate, or starve myself during the day to save my calories for the night, or make a trade of exercise for the right to eat. So if you find yourself already stressing about eating, or eating in front of others, or just changes in your body: please know that you are worthy regardless of your size, you aren’t required to earn the foods you love, you can wear whatever makes you feel like yourself, and the greatest gift we can all give and receive is love. So just do you babe! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE  Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Nov 22, 2017 at 6:48am PST

Her positivity about accepting change, both in her body and in life generally, was met with praise from other mums: 

"Keep shining your light of truth and positivity. Real love, of others or oneself is unconditional. You're beautiful inside and out and your daughter is blessed to have a courageous mom!" 

"I am on the middle of a huge transition in my life health wise. I hope I can be as strong and positive as you in the next few months . You have a beautiful family and I am so happy you have come through this year okay." 

"PREACH GIRLLL! I hope to be the same kind of mom that you are." 

With the end of the year fast approaching we think her message of embracing change is just perfect!