‘I work fulltime because I WANT to'... This mum’s post is just too perfect (and important)

"I work full time (and will not have any time off with this new baby because I am self-employed) and so does my husband and yes, we're still the ones rearing our children. We have not left that responsibility to other people. We never have."

Mum-of-six Jessica Martin-Weber has taken to Facebook to share an extremely important post about her reasons for working – not that she should have to – but they are both eye-opening and honest.  

For some mums, deciding to go back to work after having a baby is one of the toughest decisions they make in their baby's first year.

For others, however, it is an easy decision, one that they make both for the sake of their family and themselves – because they want to.

Which is exactly the reason Jessica decided to head back after having her babies.

Openingly admitting that the period she was at home was "a time of depression, anger, and a deep sense of loss and regret", the mum-of-six said that staying at home made her question her decision to become a parent.

"This didn't mean I don't love my children or that I don't enjoy being with them," she wrote. 

"It just meant that parenting, like life, isn't one size fits all. I had to find what worked best for me and my family."

Admitting to being a better mother when she has responsibilities and work outside of her family, Jessica said that she felt like she had been conditioned to think that she had to stay at home with the kids.

Her husband, Jeremy, on the other hand was "frustrated that because he is a man, somehow he wasn't 'allowed' to want to stay home as the primary caretaker of our children and he felt trapped".

"In fact, we were both resenting the other for what they had or got to do that we didn't. We determined that for us we had to find something that looked different and worked for our family. I was a much better parent when I returned to the workforce due to my personality, strengths, and weaknesses.

"I had mistakenly assumed that because I was a mother I would be good at, feel fulfilled, and enjoy working with children 24/7.

"Turns out that wasn't the case for me. My expectations were that with my own children I would suddenly love caring for small children and would thrive at arts and crafts and house keeping and interacting with tiny human beings.

"Instead, I constantly struggled and was always burned out. I judged myself harshly for that."

Acknowledging that this is not the case for everyone, Jessica quite rightly talks about how life is not a one size fits all; how, as mums, "we're all just trying to find what works for us and our families" – whether that's going out to work, working at home or hanging up the suits forever. 

"Bringing up whole, healthy, balanced individuals isn't the kind of thing that's ever really going to be easy.

"At times it may be enjoyable work, at times it may not be.

"Different arrangements are going to work for different families sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of desire. "

You can read Jessica's full Facebook post here: BeyondMoi