'Family is an effort': why kids shouldn't care about family conflict

As adults, it's in our nature to try and keep kids out of family drama. 

Every family has it's conflicts and disagreements, and children are too young to process these complications. According to dad and blogger, Brad Kearns, they only want one thing. Love. 

"My parents have been divorced since before I can remember," he begins. "I’ve actually only ever seen a few pictures in an old album where mum took a photo of Dad with us kids and vice versa. I just never had it. " 

But his parents will always be linked, because of him and now because of their grandchildren. 

"They’re linked because I tell them they are and because my children (their grandchildren) are in this world. And that means living milestones all over again." 

In their innocence of children, they don't care who is blood and who is not. 

"Kids are so innocent when it comes to things like family bulls**t: 

"My boys don’t care which one of them is my real mum. They couldn't care less which one’s my real dad. 

"They don’t mind that I call one mum and one Lisa, or one Dad and the other Glenn; they‘re still just Grandma and Pop.

"They couldn't care less that I grew up with some of my siblings and not with the others; they still call them aunties and uncles." 

Because kids don't think about the past, only the present and the future. 

"They don’t have the capacity to understand the complexities of family history and wouldn't care to know what kind of person anyone might have been 20 years ago. The things that were said or the family court arrangements that happened. 

"And they certainly don’t care who’s talking to who and why this person said that. Because they’re just kids."

Because kids only care about who shows up. 

"They just want the people in their life to come and see them. To play with them and to teach them about the world. To get excited when they’re around to play and to have a relationship with them where they see them regularly. Children grow up so fast that things can change so much in just a fortnight that you can miss an entire f**king chapter by not seeing them. 

"The thing about family is that there’s always room for growth when there’s kids involved. And kids really don’t mind what’s gone on before, because they really only care about the future. And that in itself is an opportunity to move forward again. 

"Whether it be blood, marriage, situational or plain old just f**ked up… the people my boys will call family are the people who chose to be in their lives right now. 

"Family is an effort; not a title 

"And these two little boys have enough love for everyone that wants to be a part of it." 

Family bonds aren't always blood, and kids don't care about that anyway- just about the person that will be there for them.