Every mother of teenage boys will live for this hilarious Kleenex review
Ah life with teenagers, is there anything more frustrating, hilarious and head-wrecking at the same time?
With hormones raging, adapting is the name of the game- and this mum has it down.
The anonymous mother left a review on Amazon for 36-pack Kleenex tissues, and the reason why she loves them so much has us both cringing and in stitches.
"I want to start this off by thanking Kleenex for selling these in 36-packs," she begins. "I've put it on subscription, and if they want to start selling a 72-pack, sign me up. I have three reasons for needing this much Kleenex, and their names are Liam, Samuel and Hank."
Oh. Dear. Lord.
"This is how it goes in this house. First the Kleenex disappears. Then the toilet paper. Then they go for fabrics. And you don't want it to get there, unless you're ready to invest in a five gallon drum of Febreeze."
We did not see that coming (pun not intended). As for the mother, she's beyond judgement at this stage, she's just protecting her towels.
"This used to be a good Christian home. But it's not about moral judgment anymore. I'm way beyond that. I'm in survival mode.
"If I don't supply absorbent paper products, I'm going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminium. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock. I am sorry to speak so frankly, but with three teenage boys, a woman has got to be practical."
That sounds unpleasant to say the least! It's not just the socks that are suffering, but her ability to walk around the house without finding certain, um, discoveries.
"The funny part is, they think they're being sneaky, with their 45 minute showers and sudden need for 'privacy', as if I'm going to walk in on them journaling."
It gets better, as if that was possible.
"They slink around the house like unfixed cats, while I try to announce my location at all times. No one needs to ask me to knock anymore. I knock on the walls. I practically wear a cow bell. I'm not looking to catch anyone by surprise, believe me. I'm just trying to get through this."
As clued in the mother is, you'd think the dad of the house would be able to recognise certain…em… behaviours in his sons.
"The other day my husband was watching me unload the groceries, and he asks me, all sweetness and light, 'Honey, what're you doing with all that Kleenex?'
"I about knocked him off his chair."
We need this woman to be our best friend, like now!