An open letter to all dads on mum's anxiety is incredibly real

In an honest open letter to all the husbands and partners of women with anxiety, Laura Mazza has revealed a number of things they should know about their partner's predicament. 

With an ever increasing use of social media and a strive for perfection within family life, anxiety has become a very real problem for many mums worldwide. 

But mums are not always forthcoming with revealing the anxiety they're filled with on a daily basis, mostly due to a fear of failure; however, it's important for mums to know they are never alone. 

Through her writing, mum-of-two, Laura, has asked all partners of women with anxiety to be patient, explaining 'anxiety isn't a one size fits all' and the real issues that lie behind 'simple' tasks.

Laura explains: "You might think she's just snapped at you, but it was anxiety that did it, you might think she's angry, but it's the anxiety that's got a choke hold, you might think she's not enjoying herself when you go out and it's your fault, but it's not. It's anxiety."

"You know how she can't understand when she asks you what are you thinking, why you would respond with 'nothing'… it's because she never thinks nothing. Her thoughts replay like a freight train in her head full steam ahead, over and over. It's exhausting for her. It's why she's tired."

And it's true. It's a common trait amongst mums to over-think every little situation, to replay thoughts over and over again until there is a worst case scenario in giving your child one single sweet. 

As Laura alludes: "That's why when she's home alone or out by herself she will text you a million times, telling you her every move or telling you everything that's going wrong, she knows you can't change anything, she knows you feel helpless, but so does she, that's why she needs to share it with you, otherwise her head will explode with panic."

Nonetheless, with anxiety comes self-doubt, and that's when she'll begin to wonder why you're there. Why on earth you would be spending your time reassuring this woman that you love her, when you could be with someone more confident, someone who didn't have 'this vice around their neck'. 

But it's not just ourselves that we are looking at in the mirror: "I want you to know I see that this is tough on you, tough to see your loved one hurt, tough on you, the pressure for you would be immense."

"But don't think for a second she doesn't see you, don't think for a second she doesn't worry about you too, she even gets anxiety about you. She knows it's not your fault, and she knows you want to fix her in the way that means you help her, but you can't fix her. She's not broken."

However, there are ways in which a partner can help; most notably by simply taking her hand, telling her to breathe and that you're there, always. 

"Too much is overwhelming for her, even though she has good intentions. Don't make her feel bad for missing an appointment, a party, whatever. She wanted to go, but she couldn't. She already feels bad. Tells her it's okay."

Sometimes there won't always be an answer, or it won't come to you as quickly as others, but, so long as your patient with her, 'she will feel your love'.

"She doesn't want her anxiety to define your relationship and when you are patient, you're telling her you're willing to do the same."

"Anxiety is heartbreaking for her. Really it is. She wishes she could just feel free. The free feeling of just being carefree and not a prisoner to this ugly illness. Free of the voice that follows her listing all her insecurities."

Not every day of your relationship will be tough for her, she wants to celebrate each day, but sometimes it is just harder than others; nonetheless, she knows you're there. 

"She appreciates you, she loves you. She's vulnerable and scared. But she chose you to share her biggest deepest scar tissue that resides in her heart, and she knew the day she met you that you were the one worthy enough to see her in all her imperfections."

"She will love you with that whole heart, and you know she will because she's already listed the pros and cons … and just as you are by her side she will be fiercely loyal to yours. Forever and ever, you just to need take her hand and tell her, 'I am with you'."

Laura's message is a perfect ode to anyone suffering with anxiety, who just can't get the words out to describe how they're feeling.