An open letter from a worn-out, tired mum goes viral
A mum wrote an incredibly moving piece to her husband on why she needs an extra helping hand.
The viral post was published on the Facebook page: Breastfeeding Mama Talk.
The mum-of-two, Celeste Erlach, addresses the very common issue of childcare sharing between herself and her husband.
Erlach begins the letter with an occasion when her husband gave back their baby whilst she is trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep.
"Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.
You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him."
The blogger said she wanted "to scream" and launch into an argument. However, she chose to take the event as motivation to pen the letter of why she needs help.
She struggles with the fact she is even asking for help, questioning why others look like pros juggling the ups and downs of life, along with raising children.
"I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can't I?
I don't know.
Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was.
Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help.
Erlach confesses that she feels like a "failure" for even asking for the extra hand, saying that her partner does help and is a brilliant dad.
However, she explains she is only human and cannot run on just merely five hours sleep.
She needs her husband to take care of, and get their toddler ready in the mornings, so she can tend to the baby and lunches whilst squeezing in a coffee.
The mum continues to request:
"At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it's hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.
On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it's just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I've scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I've got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids' naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you."
As she draws to the ending, the mum highlights the importance of recognition for all that she does.
"Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities.
As the mom, it's assumed I'll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you're out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time."
The mum wishes she could make it look "effortless" and that she didn't need the "kudos" for the work that she does as a mum.
She concludes the powerful piece with:
"But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human. I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.
Because, let's face it: you need me, too."