8 things people with social anxiety REALLY want you to know

While anxiety can be a natural response to a certain worry, like an upcoming exam or a job interview, for some people it’s a chronic disorder that they have to live with every damn day.

There are many misconceptions about what anxiety actually is, and because, “Ah stop worrying, you’re grand” just doesn’t cut it, we’ve compiled a list of things people with anxiety really want you to know.

1. They’re hyper-sensitive

They’re constantly poised for some sort of disaster, so people with anxiety are highly attuned to what’s going on around them. Which while wearing, does mean they’re intuitive, they can be very perceptive, noticing things that others might not, and they feel deeply.

2. They’re not rude

Anxiety puts the body into fight or flight mode, which is mentally and physically exhausting. So if they’re shying away from a social situation, or if they leave a party early, it’s because social situations tire them out – and not because they’re rude or uncaring.

3. They might seem extroverted and outgoing

People with social anxiety aren’t necessarily sitting at home in a darkened room. They often make a concerted effort to put themselves out there, and can even seem like the life and soul of the party.

4. They’re not weak

Anxiety can be exhausting, even crippling, but anxious people still truck on and do what has to be done – like being amazing parents and doing well in work. That’s the very opposite of weak.

5. Their anxiety makes them kinder

Because they know what it’s like to feel worried or anxious, they can be more in tune to the feelings of people around them. So while anxiety sure isn’t pleasant, this increased empathy is a positive by-product.

6. They think people don’t like them

Because anxious people are so hyper-sensitive, they judge themselves way too harshly. So they can often have a skewed idea of how they are perceived by people around them.

7. They overthink EVERYTHING

Think of a hamster on a wheel, going ninety all the live long day. That’s what it’s like inside the head of a person with anxiety. So even though they might look calm and serene, inside they’re thinking, thinking, thinking.

8. They know they shouldn’t worry – but they can’t help it

People with anxiety have a deep self-awareness, so they know, for example, that there isn’t anything to worry about, or that their thoughts can be needlessly destructive. But the frustrating nub of anxiety is that it renders you helpless.